I think it’s a great irony that every year during Advent our readings at Mass so strongly feature John the Baptist because what could be further from our homey holiday ideal of our families all cozied up around the soft glow of tiny tree lights, joyfully exchanging gifts than this wild, haggard, severe prophet? John the Baptist is so profoundly off his rocker!
Imagine a Christmas card with a cover that reads “From our home to yours this holy season…” and then inside there’s this alarming close-up picture of John the Baptist with his fierce eyes, looking dusty and lean from his desert diet of grasshoppers and God-knows-what - screaming at the top of his lungs (veins popping) “REPENT YOU BROOD OF VIPERS!!!” - Merry Christmas from the Browns :)
When I jokingly suggested to my husband that if we wanted to be true to scripture, we should send out a Christmas card like this, he one-upped me and said that maybe we should snap our annual family Christmas card photo on one of “those mornings” when our girls are late for school, frantic but still half-asleep running around aimlessly and I am slapping lunches together in my stained and torn pajama pants with my just woke up “Alice Cooper”-like, smeared mascara eyes and wild hair –urgently screaming directives “Change your underwear! Eat your breakfast! Forget the polished, professional family portrait - THIS would be a Christmas greeting in true John the Baptist style…honest and raw.
But John’s intensity grab us, right? His urgency breaks through the blur of daily living combined with Christmas madness, and his message is very similar to our theme tonight. Prepare. Prepare the way of the Lord through a sincere repentance….a transformative change of heart.
But, what does this preparation look like?
I can only speak for myself, but I found Fr. Ron Rolheiser’s advice on this very helpful. He advises we begin by identifying what is making us sad, because more often than not this will lead us to where true repentance is needed in our lives. Because sin isn't about "offending" God, but rather holding God at arms length. God only asks that we try to be our best selves, which naturally leads to connection and belonging. Sin is anything that alienates us from our true selves, God, and each other. It’s about not being true to our design.
For example, one morning on my way to work, I was on the service drive because there was a mess of construction and traffic on the expressway. I was passing through a very over developed area; there wasn’t a park or even a significant bunch of trees around within miles…all strip malls and asphalt.
While painfully creeping in traffic I noticed out my passenger window, standing elegantly, not even 20 feet from the street, next to an over-filled dumpster in the parking lot of a 7-11 was this beautiful deer breathing in the fumes from all the traffic and eating the little tufts of dusty grass that were struggling to break through the cracks in the concrete.
The vision of this deer arrested me. I did a little double-take because it was so out of place. I thought to myself, I bet that deer doesn’t have long to live before she runs into traffic or simply gets sick from the limited, dirty food and stress she is enduring due to living in such an urban area. The deer was surviving, but not living the life for which she was created. She was not living the optimal life of a deer. Not living as God intended.
So it is I think sometimes with us. We are not living optimally as human beings. We are not living as we were designed to live. A large majority of us are stressed, depressed, isolated and rather fear-filled.
We are surviving, but we are not living the life for which we were designed….but like that deer, we are relatively unaware of how malnourished we really are…we don’t really see how our choices and culture sometimes rob us of the rich life that God has intended for each of us…
This is the true danger of sin. That we slowly become unaware of how it is hurting us. It’s not that God would ever withhold forgiveness, God’s mercy is without boundary or breaking point. But through our choices we can distance ourselves from God, from one another and from our true selves. Sin robs us of our ability to live the life for which we were made. It makes us unable to connect with others and to experience joy.
What makes me sad these days is that I have a deep longing to use my God-given gifts to the full and really admire people who, from my perspective, are succeeding in this way. I really admire excellence. And even though my coworkers and people close to me say I’m very efficient and use my time well, most days I still feel like I’m failing (at least a little bit) at everything. My kids are fed, housed and safe but I’m not excelling at motherhood. There is so much more that I would like to do, prepare better meals, read all my favorite books with them, bake cookies together….but I’m unable because I’m too busy doing my job, which I am certain could be done better by someone else, who has the time to read every book that needs to be read, finish every project that needs doing and go to all the conferences to become truly exceptional.
And as for my house, the white flag of surrender to clutter has been flying for years now. But I still feel fresh anxiety and sadness every time I see a huge dust-bunny, fingerprints in some of the most impossible places…I cringe every time I pass the bent molding that has been begging to be fixed for years now.
I really consider myself an “all in” kind of gal, but you wouldn’t know it from all the ½ read books, ½ swept floors, ½ finished crafty gifts, ½ empty laundry baskets. I don’t feel like I ever get to spend enough time with those I love. I am not caring for my aging parents as I would like. I want to be a better citizen and neighbor. I want to exercise more..and the list goes on. I just never feel I am doing enough or am chronically questioning if I am doing the right things with my limited time.
I really believe we live the lives we fashion, and I know I have chosen the path of working motherhood….I don’t expect it to be easy, but many days I feel defeated from the time my feet hit the floor. I feel more like a compulsive “human doing” not a human being. This is not of God. This is not what I was created for…
I can see your heads nodding, so I suspect I’m not alone in this struggle, yes? So, if this compulsion and feeling of defeat doesn’t come from God, where does it come from and how do we silence it?
Thomas Merton was once asked what is the leading spiritual disease of our time. With one word he answered, “efficiency.” He said that our problem is not so much our ‘badness’ as our ‘busyness.’ We are so busy with our to-do lists and packed calendars that we do not take time to reconnect with our source, and really stop to listen and hear God whisper the sweet nothings of love and acceptance in our ear that are like water to a flower. We are starved for the nourishment that comes from taking our Sabbath rest and hearing God’s voice anew.
This year I had one of those grand moments of clarity. I always joked that my tombstone is going to read “Here lies Lisa. She was very efficient.” Until it almost came to be.
At about 3AM in the morning on April 17th I suffered a cardiac arrest at home, in bed. Miraculously my husband, who can usually sleep through a freight train, became curious about some strange noises from my side of the bed just in time to see me pass out and feel my pulse cease. He and my 13-year-old daughter took turns giving me CPR until EMS arrived. I was shocked twice on the floor of my bedroom.
From all the reports it looks like I was dead between 10-16 minutes. I spent the next 2 days in an induced hypothermic coma and two weeks in ICU. The survival rate for out of-hospital cardiac arrest is only 6%, and of those 6% even fewer live without significant and lasting brain, liver and/or kidney damage. I am very happy to report I am a member of that very small percentage. They still don’t know what caused this kind of electrical short that caused my heart to flutter and eventually stop, but all my doctors are in agreement that stress played a part. I’ve been told I was the winner of both the worst and the best lotteries all in the span of a couple days.
As you might imagine, this experience has brought with it a teeny tiny shake up of my priorities. My day to day life has not changed much…still a packed calendar…but I’m on the road of redemption in how I respond to it…
The month of recovery made it clear that I have to very intentionally stop, get quiet and bask like a cat in the sun in the loving gaze of God every day…without exception. For nourishment.
Because only when I unplug and still my mind, can I begin to hear the only voice that quiets my obsessive inner critic…the still, small, voice of God that says “I love you…you are enough…worthiness is not a prerequisite for my affection. You are mine.”
I still have to remind myself that times of rest, solitude and prayer are not lavish, self-indulgent, or optional aspects of the Christian life…They are non-negotiable essentials…observing the Sabbath is a commandment for a reason.
Sometimes I hear God in silence, sometimes in scripture or my favorite spiritual writers….
I read this gem from Maria Boulding this morning “God doesn’t love us despite of our faults and failures, but rather in and through them we are being emptied, being broke open and brought into deeper intimacy with God and one another. God works in and through our failure to bring about the kingdom!
Our faults force us to shed our self-sufficiency and masks of perfection and accept redemption, knowing that we have not earned it by our accomplishments. Our weakness cultivates a deeper vulnerability, compassion and acceptance towards others – the very hallmarks of a follower of Jesus.
Like the song from the late Leonard Cohen
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."
Dr. Brene Brown says “Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.”
I have found it nourishing lately to ponder God’s image in the Trinity. If we believe, and God has revealed, that God in Gods-self is a community of mutual love and equality, and we have been created in God’s image - then whenever we find ourselves freely giving or receiving love we are living true to our design. We image God not alone, but together.
Dr. Brene Brown says “One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we're very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It's as if we've divided the world into "those who offer help" and "those who need help." The truth is that we are both.” (Brene Brown)
Alone, we are not the Messiah, but together, as we are designed to function, we can do amazing things. Like the bees and ants found in nature, as individuals – none of us are the whole enchilada, so to speak. But, we are also not powerless or expendable. Each of us – warts and all - are unique and important pieces of God’s puzzle; an irreplaceable part of the body of Christ, equipped and called to make a special contribution to the on-going revelation and redeeming action of Christ in our world.
Odd though it may be, we are the vehicle of choice for God’s grace.
As St. Paul says “God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness.” We are “made perfect” by loving and accepting our limited, human, selves and others in their imperfection and in doing so we are bringing about God’s kingdom. (2 Cor 12:9) God’s perfection is found in US not ME.
So preparing our hearts through repentance might mean actively silencing our inner critic, reaching out to heal our broken relationships, connecting in a deeper, more intimate way with one another. Speaking our faults and failures to God and others, which saps them of their power to make us sad.
Recognizing and asking forgiveness restores intimacy, enables us to drop our masks and stop hiding our imperfect, rickety selves and brings an openness and trust that enables us to truly enter into the joy of the season.
This is the repentance – the vital preparation, that John the Baptist is desperately urging us to embrace with all our might this Advent.
And this repentance, by necessity, is worked out not alone in isolation, but rather in our relationships, so this highly interactive and social time of Advent is a perfect season for THIS type of “preparation.”
A final note, my daughter says she learned CPR from watching Grey’s Anatomy. I very seriously considered not allowing her to watch that show, for a million reasons. In fact, in a very real way I felt like a failure as a parent when I caved on that fight…
But, alas, I’m alive and now she wants to be a doctor! So, ALL things work together for the good…and Dr. McDreamy is not to be underestimated!
Wishing you and your family every blessing this holy season…thank you.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Crazy Catholic Question #90: Advent Preparation
What is our Advent “preparation” supposed to look like?
It’s a great irony to me that every year our Advent readings feature John the Baptist because what could be further from our homey, holiday ideal of our families all cozied up around the soft glow of tiny tree lights, joyfully exchanging gifts than this wild, haggard, severe prophet? Imagine a Christmas card with a cover that reads “from our home to yours…” and inside an alarming close-up of John the Baptist with his fierce eyes, looking dusty and lean screaming at the top of his lungs “REPENT!!!” But, John’s intensity does manage to break through the blur of daily living and all the Christmas madness, and his message is simple. Prepare the way of the Lord through a sincere repentance; a transformative change of heart. But, what does this preparation look like?
Fr. Ron Rolheiser advises we begin by identifying what is making us sad, because more often than not this will lead us to where true repentance is needed in our lives. Sin robs us of our ability to live the life for which we were created because it alienates us from our true selves, God, and each other.
What makes me sad is that I have a deep longing to use my God-given gifts to the full and really admire people who are succeeding in this way. I really admire excellence. And even though the people close to me say I’m very efficient and use my time well, most days I still feel like I’m failing (at least a little bit) at everything. There never seems enough time to be the mother, wife, minister, friend, sister, citizen, neighbor I really long to be. I consider myself an “all in” kind of gal, but you wouldn’t know it from all the ½ read books, ½ swept floors, ½ finished crafty gifts, ½ empty laundry baskets. The white flag of surrender to clutter has been flying at my house for years now, but I still feel fresh anxiety every time I see the indomitable dust bunnies and fingerprints.
I don’t feel like I spend enough time with those I love. I’m not caring for my aging parents as I would like. I just never feel I am doing enough or am chronically questioning if I am doing the right things with my limited time. Some days I feel defeated before my feet even hit the floor. I feel more like a compulsive “human doing” not a human being. This is not of God. This is not what I was created for.
Thomas Merton once said that the leading spiritual disease of our time is “efficiency.” Our problem is not so much our ‘badness’ as our ‘busyness.’ Our to-do lists and packed calendars keep us from reconnecting with our source; God.
I find I need to very intentionally stop and bask like a cat in the sun in the loving gaze of God every day. Because only then can I begin to hear the only voice that quiets my obsessive inner critic; the still, small, voice of God that says “I love you…you are enough…worthiness is not a prerequisite for my affection. You are mine.” This nourishment is to me like water to a flower.
“God doesn’t love us despite of our faults and failures, but rather in and through them we are being emptied, being broke open and brought into deeper intimacy with God and one another. God works in and through our failure to bring about the kingdom! Our faults force us to shed our self-sufficiency and masks of perfection and accept redemption, knowing that we have not earned it by our accomplishments. Our weakness cultivates a deeper vulnerability, compassion and acceptance towards others – the very hallmarks of a follower of Jesus.” (Boulding) “Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.” (Brene Brown).
It’s a great irony to me that every year our Advent readings feature John the Baptist because what could be further from our homey, holiday ideal of our families all cozied up around the soft glow of tiny tree lights, joyfully exchanging gifts than this wild, haggard, severe prophet? Imagine a Christmas card with a cover that reads “from our home to yours…” and inside an alarming close-up of John the Baptist with his fierce eyes, looking dusty and lean screaming at the top of his lungs “REPENT!!!” But, John’s intensity does manage to break through the blur of daily living and all the Christmas madness, and his message is simple. Prepare the way of the Lord through a sincere repentance; a transformative change of heart. But, what does this preparation look like?
Fr. Ron Rolheiser advises we begin by identifying what is making us sad, because more often than not this will lead us to where true repentance is needed in our lives. Sin robs us of our ability to live the life for which we were created because it alienates us from our true selves, God, and each other.
What makes me sad is that I have a deep longing to use my God-given gifts to the full and really admire people who are succeeding in this way. I really admire excellence. And even though the people close to me say I’m very efficient and use my time well, most days I still feel like I’m failing (at least a little bit) at everything. There never seems enough time to be the mother, wife, minister, friend, sister, citizen, neighbor I really long to be. I consider myself an “all in” kind of gal, but you wouldn’t know it from all the ½ read books, ½ swept floors, ½ finished crafty gifts, ½ empty laundry baskets. The white flag of surrender to clutter has been flying at my house for years now, but I still feel fresh anxiety every time I see the indomitable dust bunnies and fingerprints.
I don’t feel like I spend enough time with those I love. I’m not caring for my aging parents as I would like. I just never feel I am doing enough or am chronically questioning if I am doing the right things with my limited time. Some days I feel defeated before my feet even hit the floor. I feel more like a compulsive “human doing” not a human being. This is not of God. This is not what I was created for.
Thomas Merton once said that the leading spiritual disease of our time is “efficiency.” Our problem is not so much our ‘badness’ as our ‘busyness.’ Our to-do lists and packed calendars keep us from reconnecting with our source; God.
I find I need to very intentionally stop and bask like a cat in the sun in the loving gaze of God every day. Because only then can I begin to hear the only voice that quiets my obsessive inner critic; the still, small, voice of God that says “I love you…you are enough…worthiness is not a prerequisite for my affection. You are mine.” This nourishment is to me like water to a flower.
“God doesn’t love us despite of our faults and failures, but rather in and through them we are being emptied, being broke open and brought into deeper intimacy with God and one another. God works in and through our failure to bring about the kingdom! Our faults force us to shed our self-sufficiency and masks of perfection and accept redemption, knowing that we have not earned it by our accomplishments. Our weakness cultivates a deeper vulnerability, compassion and acceptance towards others – the very hallmarks of a follower of Jesus.” (Boulding) “Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.” (Brene Brown).
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Crazy Catholic Question #89: By Design
Are we living the life we are called by God to live? Somedays it sure doesn't feel like it...
A few years back while painfully creeping in traffic through a very over developed area - not a park or substantial bunch of trees within miles, just strip malls and asphalt - I noticed out of my passenger window, standing elegantly, not even 20 feet from the street, next to an over-filled dumpster in the parking lot of a convenience store was this beautiful deer, breathing in the fumes from all the traffic and eating the little tuffs of dusty grass that were struggling to break through the cracks in the concrete.
The vision of this deer arrested me. I did a little double-take because it was so out of place. I thought to myself, ‘I bet that deer doesn’t have long to live before she runs into traffic or simply gets sick from the limited, dirty food and stress she is enduring due to living in such an urban area.’ The deer was surviving, but not living the life for which she was created. She was not living the optimal life of a deer. Not living as God intended. So it is I think sometimes with us. We are not living optimally as human beings.
One of our keynote teachings for our kids this year invites us to believe that “In the mind of God there has always been a plan to bring all of life to fulfillment.” That throughout the long 15-billion-year history of our planet, God “created the heaven and the earth” and has been ever so slowly, intentionally, guiding the growth of creation – dividing the water and land, carefully placing each mineral, plant and animal, preparing each one for their special role in this plan of God – so that eventually, when this creative work of love is complete, at the parousia, God will be “all in all.”
This teaching, rooted in our scriptures, says that we humans are distinguished from all the other creatures in our ability to take the earth into our hands and wonder: “Who has made all of this?” We arrived like guests at a banquet to find that everything that we needed (everything that we could even have dreamed of!) had been prepared for us before we arrived. In us, for the first time there was a creature who could be thankful; who could love the creator in return.
The teaching goes on to say that without humanity, creation would have been beautiful and wonderful, but it would have been incomplete. For in this great plan of God is built in a unique role for the work of the human hand, guided by love…that somehow, through the work of OUR hands, creation is to be brought to its fullest potential.
And yet, Jonas Salk, a Medical Researcher most famous for developing the very first successful polio vaccine, once noted “If all the insects were to disappear from the earth, within 50 years all life on earth would end. But if all human beings disappeared from the earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish.” What does this tell us?
For me, this says loud and clear that most of us are not living as we are called or designed by God to live. Many of our hands are not bringing creation to fulfillment through love but rather are pushing and grabbing in greed, fear and hate and bringing destruction.
We desperately need to rethink and contemplate what living as a human being is supposed to look like - by God’s design - because I think we are dangerously off the mark. Let us prayerfully vision together…
A few years back while painfully creeping in traffic through a very over developed area - not a park or substantial bunch of trees within miles, just strip malls and asphalt - I noticed out of my passenger window, standing elegantly, not even 20 feet from the street, next to an over-filled dumpster in the parking lot of a convenience store was this beautiful deer, breathing in the fumes from all the traffic and eating the little tuffs of dusty grass that were struggling to break through the cracks in the concrete.
The vision of this deer arrested me. I did a little double-take because it was so out of place. I thought to myself, ‘I bet that deer doesn’t have long to live before she runs into traffic or simply gets sick from the limited, dirty food and stress she is enduring due to living in such an urban area.’ The deer was surviving, but not living the life for which she was created. She was not living the optimal life of a deer. Not living as God intended. So it is I think sometimes with us. We are not living optimally as human beings.
One of our keynote teachings for our kids this year invites us to believe that “In the mind of God there has always been a plan to bring all of life to fulfillment.” That throughout the long 15-billion-year history of our planet, God “created the heaven and the earth” and has been ever so slowly, intentionally, guiding the growth of creation – dividing the water and land, carefully placing each mineral, plant and animal, preparing each one for their special role in this plan of God – so that eventually, when this creative work of love is complete, at the parousia, God will be “all in all.”
This teaching, rooted in our scriptures, says that we humans are distinguished from all the other creatures in our ability to take the earth into our hands and wonder: “Who has made all of this?” We arrived like guests at a banquet to find that everything that we needed (everything that we could even have dreamed of!) had been prepared for us before we arrived. In us, for the first time there was a creature who could be thankful; who could love the creator in return.
The teaching goes on to say that without humanity, creation would have been beautiful and wonderful, but it would have been incomplete. For in this great plan of God is built in a unique role for the work of the human hand, guided by love…that somehow, through the work of OUR hands, creation is to be brought to its fullest potential.
And yet, Jonas Salk, a Medical Researcher most famous for developing the very first successful polio vaccine, once noted “If all the insects were to disappear from the earth, within 50 years all life on earth would end. But if all human beings disappeared from the earth, within 50 years all forms of life would flourish.” What does this tell us?
For me, this says loud and clear that most of us are not living as we are called or designed by God to live. Many of our hands are not bringing creation to fulfillment through love but rather are pushing and grabbing in greed, fear and hate and bringing destruction.
We desperately need to rethink and contemplate what living as a human being is supposed to look like - by God’s design - because I think we are dangerously off the mark. Let us prayerfully vision together…
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Crazy Catholic Question #88: Loaves & the Fishes
Do you believe Jesus really fed 5000 people with just five loaves of bread and two fish?
This particular miracle is found in all four gospels, which is rare and speaks to its authenticity. I genuinely believe that Jesus had complete power to miraculously feed this hungry crowd of 5000 single-handedly. But, just for a moment I’d like to entertain another possible scenario.
Imagine the scene. It’s a blistering hot afternoon in a far off deserted and dusty plain. Jesus has just finished preaching to a great crowd of people about the dream he has for our world. A dream of a kingdom where no one is in need, where everyone’s hunger is met, a joyful time when God’s goodness will reign, where there is no hostility, no war, a kingdom of compassion, sharing and deep communion with God and with each other, a time and place where love is the law of the land.
Jesus finishes his powerful teaching, sits down, spent, parched. One of the disciples hands him a towel and a jug of water and as the disciples look around they are overwhelmed with the cheers coming from the people. The crowd is inspired and full of hope. Jesus has “wowed” them once again, especially with his closing exhortation - ”I tell you the truth, the time is at hand!”
Minutes later, the disciples say to Jesus, “Now we have an excited, hungry mob on our hands. We have to send these people away so they can find some food for themselves before nightfall.”
Jesus had just spent the whole afternoon preaching his heart out and the crowd is finally united in spirit, they are hugging and laughing, at peace with one another - A perfect opportunity for some real community to be built. Some deep bonds of friendship to be formed – the kingdom taking shape and the disciples want to send them all away! So, he responds “Why don’t you give them something to eat?!” I imagine the disciples giving a little chuckle, like “yeah right.”
Jesus, says “Bring me the food you have and have the people sit down in small groups.” Once seated, he stands up in front of the crowd and speaks loudly the familiar words of Jewish blessing over the few loaves and fishes he has in his hands (which is also part of our Eucharistic prayer) and then he shares the little he has with those around him.
The people, seeing this gesture look blankly, maybe a little sheepishly, at those around them. Every good Jew knows full well that when people sit down to share a meal it is no small deal. In Hebrew culture, even today, a meal is a sign of deep fellowship and friendship; an occasion where all is openly shared.
Is it possible that Jesus knew that these people were not so dim as to hike out to a deserted place for most of the day in the scorching heat without some provisions? So, maybe, as Jesus shared the little he had, all the people slowly began to dig into their pockets and purses to share the food they were hiding and saving for the long walk home.
And of course, all went home that night with a full belly and maybe even a doggy bag for their relatives who weren’t healthy enough for the long day’s journey. Maybe they went home with more than just a meal to share, but with a wonderful story about a preacher who inspired with his words and actions a crowd of over 5000 people to share all they had with one another…I wonder, what could be a greater miracle than that? Eucharist at its best.
This particular miracle is found in all four gospels, which is rare and speaks to its authenticity. I genuinely believe that Jesus had complete power to miraculously feed this hungry crowd of 5000 single-handedly. But, just for a moment I’d like to entertain another possible scenario.
Imagine the scene. It’s a blistering hot afternoon in a far off deserted and dusty plain. Jesus has just finished preaching to a great crowd of people about the dream he has for our world. A dream of a kingdom where no one is in need, where everyone’s hunger is met, a joyful time when God’s goodness will reign, where there is no hostility, no war, a kingdom of compassion, sharing and deep communion with God and with each other, a time and place where love is the law of the land.
Jesus finishes his powerful teaching, sits down, spent, parched. One of the disciples hands him a towel and a jug of water and as the disciples look around they are overwhelmed with the cheers coming from the people. The crowd is inspired and full of hope. Jesus has “wowed” them once again, especially with his closing exhortation - ”I tell you the truth, the time is at hand!”
Minutes later, the disciples say to Jesus, “Now we have an excited, hungry mob on our hands. We have to send these people away so they can find some food for themselves before nightfall.”
Jesus had just spent the whole afternoon preaching his heart out and the crowd is finally united in spirit, they are hugging and laughing, at peace with one another - A perfect opportunity for some real community to be built. Some deep bonds of friendship to be formed – the kingdom taking shape and the disciples want to send them all away! So, he responds “Why don’t you give them something to eat?!” I imagine the disciples giving a little chuckle, like “yeah right.”
Jesus, says “Bring me the food you have and have the people sit down in small groups.” Once seated, he stands up in front of the crowd and speaks loudly the familiar words of Jewish blessing over the few loaves and fishes he has in his hands (which is also part of our Eucharistic prayer) and then he shares the little he has with those around him.
The people, seeing this gesture look blankly, maybe a little sheepishly, at those around them. Every good Jew knows full well that when people sit down to share a meal it is no small deal. In Hebrew culture, even today, a meal is a sign of deep fellowship and friendship; an occasion where all is openly shared.
Is it possible that Jesus knew that these people were not so dim as to hike out to a deserted place for most of the day in the scorching heat without some provisions? So, maybe, as Jesus shared the little he had, all the people slowly began to dig into their pockets and purses to share the food they were hiding and saving for the long walk home.
And of course, all went home that night with a full belly and maybe even a doggy bag for their relatives who weren’t healthy enough for the long day’s journey. Maybe they went home with more than just a meal to share, but with a wonderful story about a preacher who inspired with his words and actions a crowd of over 5000 people to share all they had with one another…I wonder, what could be a greater miracle than that? Eucharist at its best.
Saturday, November 5, 2016
Crazy Catholic Question #87: Loneliness
I feel lonely often. Is this a spiritual problem? A deficit? If so, what is the remedy?
We all feel it from time to time even if we come from strong families and have ample social bonds, we still have moments where we feel alienated, misunderstood, excluded, like we are missing something of deep significance, but we are not sure exactly what. There is in each of us a certain empty space that just won’t be filled.
Loneliness is not a new problem, but some sociologists tell us that it is an intensifying problem. Some label loneliness the epidemic of this age fueled by the so called ‘break down of the family,’ the prevalence of divorce, our constant mobility, more automation and less human interaction in our day to day errands, and our pervasive modern media that presents unrealistic ideals of relationships.
Ronald Rolheiser suggests in his book “The Restless Heart” that we should pay special attention to our loneliness. Rather than trying to ignore of our feelings of loneliness by getting really busy, sending lots of emails, watching lots of TV, nightly shopping sprees, or submerging ourselves into our work or home improvement projects, Rolheiser suggests that our loneliness is communicating something very significant to us about who we are if we listen to the experience.
The Chinese word for “crisis” comes from a combination of the words “danger” and “opportunity.” We all easily recognize the destructive potential of loneliness, but, surprisingly, many of our tradition’s greatest theologians see our inevitable loneliness also as a great opportunity for spiritual growth. They say, loneliness itself is not necessarily an unhealthy emotion, it just depends on our response to it. We need to be alert to both the dangers and the potential of this very powerful, universal human tendency towards loneliness.
St. Thomas Aquinas defines human loneliness as our innate thirst for oneness, with God, others and nature. He bids us to look sensitively and, through the eyes of faith, see that our loneliness is our God designed thirst for love and community; our longing for right relationships; a desire to be part of the intimate oneness of creation as God originally intended; a readiness and hunger to receive and give love in response to the darkness that sometimes envelopes us.
St Thomas states that this oneness is the very end for which we were made; the only thing that will ultimately satisfy us. From such a perspective, loneliness is a valuable and necessary force in our lives. It is the force that drives us to keep searching, to keep reaching. It is the force that will not let us isolate comfortably or settle for the things that are fleeting and unreal such as fame, wealth, success, and pleasure; those things that will never truly gratify us.
Our loneliness, on our better days, keeps us always focused on the end for which God made us. We are told often in the scriptures that God is love. God IS the hope, the glue, the “stuff” of right relationships with each other, our world, and our selves. By listening to our inner urges and desires, and our loneliness, God has written the divine dream for us right into the very structures of our heart, mind, and body. What truly endures in times of strife and struggle are our relationships rooted in the love that is the essence of God. Loneliness is, in a sense, God’s imprint in us, constantly telling us where we should be going - towards love, sometimes reluctantly, pulling us out of our protective shells to build relationships – the backbone of the kingdom that Jesus preached.
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