Crazy Catholic Question #92: Most Important

What is the most important thing to teach our children about God?
Well, I must begin by humbly admitting that I don’t believe I’m qualified to answer this question. As someone who fully can relate to author Anne Lamott when she says “I have thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish” I’m afraid I am forced to disqualify myself from feigning any surety about of what is “most important” to share with our little ones about God. In fact, my first instinct is to listen to them instead. I think children more often than not have a better ear and connection to what is most essential and true about God than we do with our heavy ideologies and “beliefs.”

However, I will say, I think Pope Francis is really on to something…something that the old and young, churched and un-churched, alike recognize unquestionably as “God.” And that would be Mercy. Pope Francis actually wrote a book called The Name of God is Mercy in which he, as you might guess, repeatedly says “God is Mercy.” End of sentence. No qualifications. No exceptions. If its not merciful, it is not of God. Period.

And Jesus is mercy incarnate – or embodied. That is the good news that we celebrate on this great feast day of Christmas. That God loved us so much that He came to be with us right in our very own history to show us the way out of our darkness. To show us that we had him pegged all wrong. He wasn’t some kind of judgmental fascist demanding obedience, aloof and removed from us, on some golden throne up in heaven. Rather, he came to us as a poor, vulnerable baby; a refugee born in a humble barn with not so much as a bed. The light of the world slept his first night in a feeding trough. There is no softer entrance He could have made into our troubled world.

Jesus would one day teach us to call God “Daddy.” He would tell us that there is no sin that is beyond God’s mercy or that can’t be healed by love. He would instruct us to love one another. He encouraged us, as church, to be a safe place for all to come because he knew we most profoundly encounter the mercy of God when we are broken and our wounds are gently bound and healed like at a hospital. So that out of gratitude we may go on to become wounded healers ourselves. I think this is what I most want my children to know about God and recognize here about “being” church.

I hope you have heard this good news today and that you will come back and pray with us. We are offering a special welcome to new members on Sunday, Jan. 22nd at 12:30pm for those of you kicking around the idea of reconnecting. It includes a very brief overview of our CTR history and vision and time to answer any questions you may have about getting your kids “caught up” on all the sacraments, etc.

I write this little “Crazy Catholic Question” column for the bulletin each week, so please consider submitting a question of your own to me at dre@ctredeemer.org. There are no topics that are off-limits or questions too scandalous to ask. Read past columns at crazycatholicquestions.blogspot.com.

I sincerely hope you and your family enjoy the rest of this holy season. Without exception, your ideas, good-spirit and unique theological point of view are valued and very welcome here. And please don’t forget to bring your broken bits too…those are most important.

- Lisa Brown, Director of Religious Education

Crazy Catholic Question #91: Suicide

Can someone who is a victim of suicide have a Catholic funeral and be buried in a Catholic cemetery?

Next Sunday marks the 10th anniversary of a dear friend of mine’s death. My friend Evelina was a victim of suicide. At the time of her death I was consumed with guilt, thinking that as a trusted friend and minister I could have somehow saved her life if I would have just done a little more, been more attentive and present. Had I been a better listener…maybe…what if?

Fr. Ron Rolheiser writes once a year on the topic of suicide and I remember his column being absolute balm to my soul that year we lost Evelina. This time of year suicide seems to touch too many of our lives, so below are some quotes and paraphrasing of Fr. Ron’s comforting, wise words. (FYI: his columns are archived and available on his website at www.ronrolheiser.com.)

Suicide is the most misunderstood of all diseases. Suicide is a disease that takes people out of life against their will. It is the emotional equivalent of a heart attack. We tend to think that since suicide is self-inflicted that somehow it is a choice; voluntary and avoidable in a way that physical illness or accidents are not. For most suicides, this isn’t true. Suicide is a fatal emotional breakdown, an emotional stroke, emotional cancer – not something the victim chooses. The act that ended their lives was not a freely chosen one. They did not “kill themselves” out of arrogance or ego, like Hitler…they were a victim of a deadly illness, so there is no sin to be forgiven.

Having been born in the late 60’s in the wake of Vatican II, I find it unthinkable that in earlier times, people would have been denied funeral rites and even burial in a Church cemetery after such a tragedy. I can’t imagine how this cruel practice compounded the already unbearable pain of family and friends suffering the loss of their loved one. Thankfully, mercifully, justly our Canon Law no longer lists suicide as an impediment to funeral rites or church burial. Please, spread the word! We Catholics have come to our senses!

“Suicide is an illness not a sin. Nobody calmly decides to commit suicide and burden his or her loved ones with that death any more than anyone calmly decides to die of cancer. The victim of suicide (in all but rare cases) is a trapped person, caught up in a fiery, private chaos that has its roots both in his or her emotions and in his or her bio-chemistry. Suicide is a desperate attempt to end unendurable pain, akin to one throwing oneself through a window because one’s clothing is on fire.”

We need not worry about the eternal salvation of a suicide victim, believing (as we used to) that suicide is always an act of ultimate despair for which we are culpable. God is infinitely more understanding and merciful than we are and God’s hands are infinitely safer and more gentle than our own. We need not doubt for a second that those we have lost to suicide are in God’s strong and full embrace.

SPECIAL NOTE: For those among us who may be called to provide the initial help to someone showing symptoms of mental illness or a mental health crisis, Common Ground offers an AMAZING “Mental Health First Aid” training program (www.commongroundhelps.org). The hope is that this kind of training would become as common place as CPR and Medical First Aid training and certification.