Crazy Catholic Question #79: Did you see the light?

After a four-month plus hiatus, the crazy questions column returns! There really is only one question that I have been asked repeatedly during this time: “Did you see the light?” For those of you scratching your head right now, in the early morning of April 17th, just a few hours before our formal ribbon cutting and dedication of our new atrium here at CTR I suffered a cardiac arrest at home, in bed. Miraculously my husband, who can usually sleep through a freight train, became curious about some strange noises from my side of the bed just in time to see me pass out and feel my pulse cease. He and my 13-year-old daughter took turns giving me CPR until EMS arrived. I was shocked twice on the floor of my bedroom.

From all the reports it looks like I was dead between 10-16 minutes. I spent the next 2 days in an induced hypothermic coma and two weeks in ICU. The survival rate for out of-hospital cardiac arrest is just 6%, and of those 6% even fewer live without significant and lasting brain, liver and/or kidney damage. I am very happy to report I am a member of that very small percentage. I have no lasting damage and now have a defibrillator/pacemaker implant, so I guess you could say I have my bases covered. They don’t know what caused it. I’m having some genetic testing to be sure my daughters are not at risk.

My husband and children are doing well. I have very fuzzy, but warm memories of my husband’s tender, patient care of me in the hospital. The nurses and doctors at Troy Beaumont are simply the best. I’ve been back to work since early June, feeling strong and focused. My priorities had a bit of a shake up, but I surmise that is a good thing.

So back to the question. In short, the answer is “No. I did not ‘see the light.’” No meeting Jesus for me quite yet. But some things have certainly come into the light through this experience.

I “see the light” through all your cards, letters, prayers, emails, gifts and other expressions of love and concern for me and my family. YOU continue to be the light of Christ to us. Thank you. Sincerely.

I “see the light” every time I pass the red ribbon on the door of our atrium that was never cut (that I just can’t bring myself to take down) because it reminds me to stop and thank God for the gift of life, the gift of this compassionate community, and the gift of the creative, meaningful work that I share with our amazing CTR staff who went above and beyond in their support through this trauma (Fr. Joe was a “first responder,” at my bedside, anointing and singing over me on your behalf, before Masses even started on Sunday).

And I know it sounds so cliché, but I “see the light” in all the clichés! Such as:
· Life is short (God's way of encouraging a bit of focus?)
· Too often too late comes too soon.
· Work to live, don’t live to work.
· Many sundials in old monasteries have inscribed on them the words of St. Benedict “memento mori: remember that you will die.” But there are also some that say “memento vivere: remember to live.”
· Most importantly, tell and show those you love that you love them often. All the time. I advise you to hug them right now if they are in arm’s length.

A side note, my daughter says she learned CPR from watching Grey’s Anatomy. I very seriously considered not allowing her to watch that show because…well, so many reasons. But, alas, I’m alive and she wants to be a doctor. So, Dr. McDreamy? Not to be underestimated.