Crazy Catholic Question #43: Loneliness

I understand the value of Christian community and believe in the value of our shared work and life as the Body of Christ, but often I struggle with deep feelings of loneliness - sometimes even while I’m here at church! Am I being unfaithful in some way that brings on these feelings of disconnectedness?

I hear you! Even if we come from strong families and have ample social bonds, we still have moments when we feel excluded, misunderstood and involuntarily cut off.

The problem of loneliness, obviously, is not a new problem or one unique to our age. But, some sociologists tell us that it is, at best, an intensifying problem. Others go so far as to label loneliness the epidemic of this age. The so called “breakdown of the family,” our constant mobility, more automation and less human interaction in our day to day errands, and our pervasive modern media that presents unrealistic ideals of love and intimacy – all these cultural factors push us, as a society, into a new place of reckoning with our loneliness.

We all have different coping mechanisms, some of us choose to ignore of our feelings of loneliness by getting really busy, sending lots of emails, watching lots of TV, nightly shopping sprees or submerging ourselves into our work or home improvement projects. Other times, we can’t ignore the pain and we become sad, finding ourselves at times on the verge of despair.

We all recognize from our own experience the destructive potential of loneliness, but, surprisingly, many of our tradition’s greatest theologians see our universal human tendency towards loneliness also as a great opportunity for spiritual growth. Fr. Ron Rolheiser suggests in his well-researched book The Restless Heart that, spiritually speaking, loneliness itself is not necessarily an unhealthy emotion but rather something that we would be wise in giving some special attention.

St. Thomas Aquinas defines human loneliness as our “innate thirst for oneness, with God, others and nature.” He bids us to look sensitively and through the eyes of faith to see that our loneliness is our God-designed thirst for love and community…our longing for right relationships…a desire to be part of the intimate oneness of creation as God originally intended…a readiness and hunger to receive and give love in response to the darkness that sometimes envelopes us. St Thomas states that this oneness is the very end for which we were made.

From such a perspective, loneliness is a valuable and necessary force in our lives because it keeps us searching and will not let us comfortably isolate or settle for the things that are fleeting and will never truly gratify us such as fame, wealth, success, and pleasure.

So, on our better days, our loneliness helps keep us focused on the end for which God made us. If we listen to our inner longings we will be drawn deeper into the divine dream that God has written within the very structures of our heart, mind, and body. Loneliness is, in a sense, God’s imprint in us, constantly telling us where we should be going; towards love, pulling us out of our protective shells to build the relationships that form the backbone of the kingdom that Jesus preached.

We are never going to be fully satisfied this side of the grave, but we are given glimpses of the divine in our lives in those that love us, accept us, welcome us, redeem us, forgive us, and give us hope. Our challenge is to respond to our thirst and discomfort not with bitterness or hardness of heart, but rather with an openness and acceptance to where God is leading us in our sometimes painful longing and loneliness.

Crazy Catholic Question #42: Our Common Home

Why is the Pope so hot on climate change these days?

I was kicking around Facebook the other night and hit a link posted by Jesuit Fr. James Martin (who I deeply respect) entitled: “When the End of Human Civilization Is Your Day Job: (subtitled) Among many climate scientists, gloom has set in. Things are worse than we think, but they can't really talk about it.” Whoa. After being jolted out of my complacency with the darkness forecast in that article, I turned to Pope Francis’ encyclical letter Laudato Si’: On Care for Our Common Home for a little hope. But quite frankly, it only confirmed the urgency. 

Not that any of this concern for climate change is particularly new, but it IS new to hear it SO boldly proclaimed in our very own Catholic language, reflecting our theology and morality from the pen of our globally respected leader. It is strange and uncomfortable to realize that it is the scientists who are predicting the end of days and the religious fundamentalists who deny that anything is wrong…I’m thankful that the Pope has placed us squarely in the scientists’ camp!

Change doesn't happen until the status quo becomes unacceptable, right? Seems that day has arrived. Courage (and/or character) isn’t the absence of fear but our response to it, right? So, what is to be our response?

Here is what Pope Francis advises: “We require a new and universal solidarity. The urgent challenge to protect our common home includes a concern to bring the whole human family together to seek a sustainable and integral development, for we know that things can change...”

The Pope says our Catholic “spirituality proposes an alternative understanding of the quality of life, and encourages a prophetic and contemplative lifestyle, one capable of deep enjoyment free of the obsession with consumption.” He encourages us to embrace the “ancient lesson” that “less is more” and makes an “urgent appeal for a new dialogue about how we are shaping the future of our planet. For all our limitations, gestures of generosity, solidarity and care cannot but well up within us, since we were made for love.”

What do you think this ‘new dialogue’ really sounds like and looks like in action? I can only speak for myself, but I attend this church to pray, dream and work along-side people who share in my beliefs and concerns and to be inspired and empowered by our shared hope in God. Let’s dream up some practical new ways for our community to live this prayer below, found at the close of the encyclical. Please email me or post your clever ideas on our bulletin board in the vestibule on how we might better “Live simply, so others may simply live.” (challenge the kiddos to post something too!)

All-powerful God, you are present in the whole universe
and in the smallest of your creatures.
You embrace with your tenderness all that exists.
Pour out upon us the power of your love,
That we may protect life and beauty.
Fill us with peace, that we may live
as brothers and sisters, harming no one.
O God of the poor,
help us to rescue the abandoned and forgotten of this earth,
so precious in your eyes.
Bring healing to our lives,
that we may protect the world and not prey on it,
that we may sow beauty, not pollution and destruction.
Touch the hearts
of those who look only for gain
at the expense of the poor and the earth.
Teach us to discover the worth of each thing,
to be filled with awe and contemplation,
to recognize that we are profoundly united
with every creature
as we journey towards your infinite light.
We thank you for being with us each day.
Encourage us, we pray, in our struggle
for justice, love and peace.

Crazy Catholic Question #41: Same-Sex Marriage

Do you think the recent SCOTUS (Supreme Court of the US) ruling on same-sex marriage is a violation of religious liberty?

I’m sorry I’m a little late to this party. I’ve taken a couple weeks vacation from writing this bulletin column, but I’m glad you asked because I really wanted to share this quote from Michael Rossmann, SJ of The Jesuit Post about the ruling back on June 26th. “As America has become more welcoming to gay and lesbian people over the past decade in particular, more of our brothers and sisters, daughters and sons, friends and neighbors have come out. Many of us know people in same sex relationships of authentic love. We have come to understand that love, fidelity, and mutual commitment are worth being grateful for, regardless of the genders involved. We know the real hardships our loved ones suffer on account of not having the same rights as their heterosexual counterparts – whether through actual discrimination on the part of the government or through internalized perceptions of inferiority and worthlessness. We can, and do, celebrate the relief and affirmation they are experiencing right now.

For those who support it, the SCOTUS ruling is against injustice and for equality. It is not, by any stretch of the imagination, against religion and for immorality. And there’s a danger if religious voices continue to react as if advocacy for same-sex marriage is in itself a form of religious persecution. It simply is not. The motivations don’t match religious persecution, and neither does the end result. To equate what many perceive as correcting an injustice with religious persecution is to invite that persecution. It also encourages the church to act out of fear, rather than out of love born from the subtle urging of the Holy Spirit – and only bad things can come of acting from a place of fear.”

Two of my dearest friends are a Catholic lesbian couple who have been married for almost 15 years, together well over 25 years. They volunteered with our Campus Ministry efforts at OU for many years and I saw first-hand all the lives that they saved. Not figuratively, but quite literally. Their individual witnesses and stable relationship were life-giving and life-saving for many young people on the verge of suicide because they felt so ostracized and unjustly discriminated against in so many ways. This couple stands as a beacon of hope, fortitude, and Christ’s boundless love in the face of hate and ignorance. And now they are permitted by law, among other rights, to be there for one another if/when one is sick and/or dying in the hospital. This is a good thing. This is of God.

In our own words “respect for the God-given dignity of all persons means the recognition of human rights and responsibilities.” (USCCB, Always our Children, 1997). “The teachings of the Church make it clear that the fundamental human rights of homosexual persons must be defended and that all of us must strive to eliminate any forms of injustice, oppression, or violence against them” (The Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, 1986, no. 10). This ruling is not about religious liberty but rather was an end to unjust discrimination and inequality and I think most Catholics feel very comfortable celebrating this all too rare occurrence in which love has indeed won….

Crazy Catholic Questions #40: Joyful Communion, submitted by Shannon Carlson

What is our new CTR “Joyful Communion Prayer Service” planned for Sunday, Nov. 22nd at 2PM? (Answer submitted by Parishioner Shannon Carlson)

On the surface, Joyful Communion is a no-shush, meaningful inclusive prayer service for persons of all abilities and all ages. It is a shortened (roughly 20-minute), lively, interactive and joyous prayer service centered around music, instruments, prayer, bible stories (acted out) and the teaching of simple life lessons.

On a deeper level, this ministry was created to enrich the spiritual lives of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities as well as to create a prayerful environment in the church where all who attend are encouraged to be themselves without fear of being “shushed.”

The idea of inclusion is one that works to benefit all people and the very premise recognizes and honors the fundamental value and dignity of each person. There’s a saying that is passed around that says, “It takes a special kind of person to care for a person with a disability.” I believe it is rather the opposite. I believe it takes a person with a disability to inspire people to be that special kind of person. Inclusion allows us to realize that we are all fundamentally alike in many ways, regardless of our abilities or disabilities, but also gives us more insight of the very unique strengths those with these challenges have. These strengths allow them to make very valuable, meaningful contributions to the church and its community.

Everyone should be welcomed and fully included into a faith community of their choice and have a meaningful way to participate, lead, serve and build relationships with people in similar and different situations in this community. Joyful Communion will not only provide this opportunity, but will provide our parish with the opportunity to become more aware and accepting of people of all abilities. This lesson is carried from our faith communities and into our daily lives. The impact of this has far reaching implications, not only for our church and people with disabilities, but for our entire community.

Our monthly Joyful Communion Prayer Services will be open to people with or without disabilities and to all faith backgrounds. Families with small children may also prefer the more casual, no-shush style of prayer.

Many volunteers are needed to launch this new venture with a strong start. If you are interested in getting involved please email Shannon at carlsonshannon1234@yahoo.com and/or attend our upcoming planning meeting on Sunday, July 12th at 1PM in the library. Your support and prayers are deeply appreciated. Mark your calendars!

Crazy Catholic Question #39: Atrium

What is going on in room Luke 1 back by the library?

We are VERY excited for our summer program ready to launch on July 13th! Our Office of Family Ministry staff has been working extra hard, burning the midnight oil, and feeling energized and without question propelled by God’s Spirit in our preparation to work with our children in the year ahead. We ask our CTR community to keep all our kiddos in your prayers as we begin a new year of Faith Formation. This year our theme is “Prayer and Parables.” Our goal is two-fold: to further develop our children’s prayer life and invite them to ponder some of Jesus’ most profound teachings from Scripture: the Parables.

Our presupposition is that even the youngest of our little ones have a prayer life; a connection and awareness of God in their lives. God is present to them in their deepest being and they are more than capable of developing both a conscious and intimate relationship with God. This summer we hope to provide materials and lessons that nurture this relationship with God and deepen the prayer life that they already have and also build on that relationship by introducing (or pondering anew for our older kids) the Parables that Jesus told us.

To aid in these goals, we are incorporating bits and parts of a Montessori-based, contemplative approach to the religious formation of children, rooted in Sacred Scripture, liturgy, and respect for the child's rich relationship with God called “Catechesis of the Good Shepherd” originally researched and developed in 1954 by Dr. Sofia Cavalletti & Gianna Gobbi.

Central to this CGS method is what is called the “atrium”: a sacred, prepared space containing beautiful homemade, “hands-on” materials that focus the child's attention on key scripture passages or liturgical moments. If you haven’t had a chance, sneak-a-peek at room Luke 1 near the library…though still in its infancy, the development of this type of atrium is what we are working towards. This method of instruction and design of curriculum has been very well-received this past year at our “Parent/Child” retreats that are part of our sacramental preparation programs here at CTR. We were delighted (and a little surprised) to discover that even the parents found the material and presentations engaging and spiritually nourishing! So, in response to this positive feedback from parents, little by little, we have been integrating and building child-size materials that Montessori professionals traditionally call “works” for our Catechists to introduce and our children and parents to explore throughout the year ahead.

We are looking for adults from our community who would be interested in taking the formation courses for catechists. These courses provide an in-depth look at basic child development along with the child’s spiritual development. Catechists leave the “retreat-like” 90-hours of training with a new, fresh richness in the arenas of child development, pedagogy, and theology…as well as a unique experience of “receiving” the Good News for oneself. There is a summer intensive course being held June 22-26 at Gesu Parish near UDM in Detroit. The training costs $200 (we may have some scholarships available). It is not too late to register for this summer course if you are feeling called to support the children of our parish in this way (Yes, you read it right…it starts THIS Monday!). The training is also offered one Saturday each month during the school year. Please contact Lisa Brown at dre@ctredeemer.org if desiring to enroll.

For a fantastic article on CGS visit:
http://americamagazine.org/issue/667/article/faith-child

Crazy Catholic Question #38: Parable

What is a parable?

We teach our little ones in faith formation that a parable is “a story with a mystery.” Jesus told many, many parables, and there is really no right or wrong way to understand them. They are stories that we can listen to and chew on for our whole lives and never really fully comprehend or come to the end of, so to speak. We hear one such parable this weekend.

Jesus says “What is the kingdom of God like? It is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in the garden; it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air made nests in its branches.”

For the Israelites of the first century there was a great disconnect between their identity as God’s chosen people and the reality in which they were living. Over a few centuries they had gone from the great heyday of national power under Kings Solomon and David to a brutally conquered nation, split and under occupation several times over, and during Jesus’ time, of course, they were under Roman occupation.

Jesus would have grown up with the language of the “kingdom of God” which his family and friends, and all of the Jewish people of his day envisioned as a place of triumph and power. An image often used of this imminent kingdom, found many times in the Old Testament, is that of the “Great Cedar of Lebanon.” These enormous trees would be comparable to the great red woods we have in California – towering some 300 feet or more.

So our Jewish ancestors dreamed of God’s kingdom as a time in the future when God’s chosen people would tower and rule over all nations, just like the image of the great cedar, well-known in Jesus’ time and culture as the greatest of all trees.

In light of this, Jesus’ metaphor is really very surprising and jarring because it turns the whole “Cedars of Lebanon” image on its head. The mustard seed wasn’t highly prized at all. In fact, on the contrary, it was something of nuisance. You didn’t dare plant it in your garden or it would crowd out all the other plants and literally and take over.

In fact the rabbinical law of the day that identified holiness with order and sin with disorder had very strict rules about what you could plant in a household garden and a mustard seed was one of the most forbidden things to plant because it caused such great disorder and upheaval - it grew fast and choked out anything growing around it.

So the first-century hearers of Jesus’ parable here would have known that the person planting the mustard seed in his garden was doing something illegal! Jesus is actually beginning his vision of the kingdom of God with someone breaking the law!

And the rest of Jesus’ story just continues to mystify. Some translations call it a tree, but what grows from a mustard seed is actually more of a shrub. It grows only about 4 feet high and isn’t a particularly attractive plant. Many people regarded it as a bit of a weed.

So (much to the horror of the first people hearing this parable, I’m sure) Jesus has literally cut the “Great Cedar of Lebanon” image of the Kingdom of God down to the image of an annoying, short bush, planted illegally in someone’s backyard garden that causes great upheaval and disorder when it grows…(?)

Scripture scholar CH Dodd defines a parable as “a metaphor or simile drawn from nature or common life that arrests the hearer by its vividness or strangeness and leaves the mind in sufficient doubt about its precise application so as to tease it into active thought.” So, a parable is a kind of riddle designed to both confuse and instruct….a story with a mystery!

Crazy Catholic Question #37: Face-to-Face

Why is our annual Parent Orientation important?

We have our FINAL PARENT ORIENTATION meeting for our summer program coming up next week, Monday, June 15^th at 7PM.  Even though I’m relatively new to this job, there are some patterns I’m noticing.  Each time we hold one of these “Orientations” I get one or two parents who express some frustration about having to attend this meeting every year in order to register their child for our faith formation program.  I would like to briefly share why we think this meeting is important….

First, what this meeting is NOT.  It is not our effort to make your life more difficult.  It is not just another hoop to jump through.  I have three kids and I get it…life is busy.   Our intent is not to coerce or frustrate but rather to have at least one opportunity (about one-hour in length) each year to meet with parents face-to-face to discuss the faith development of our little ones because, YOU, the parents are BY FAR the primary catechists of your children. 

Coming from 16 years of University Ministry, I can tell you there was not one single college student who was involved who didn’t have at least one prayerful parent who talked with them about his/her own personal faith life…NOT…ONE.   In short, everything we do here in our Faith Formation program is a waste of time without the foundation already being set at home. 

At our last orientation meeting I invited parents to share with one another who taught them to pray.  Afterwards I asked for a show of hands “Who in this room was taught to pray by a parent?”  Virtually every hand went up…

So, we think of ourselves in the Office of Family Ministry as your “Support Staff.”  We are here to support you, the parents, in your challenging work of appropriating our faith to your children.   Our goal is to “tool you up” so that even in the blur of our daily lives we manage to fit in a little discussion about Jesus.     

If you spend just 5-minutes a day fostering your child’s spiritual life in some way (dinner & bedtime prayer pretty much cover it), you exceed our annual 30 hours of formal catechesis by a long shot AND you will be more infinitely more effective than we could ever be.  A strong faith community is of course essential in forming our children in the faith, but we have no doubt that the parents are the captains of this team. 

This year our theme is:  Prayer & Parables.  Our goal is two-fold:  to further develop our children’s prayer life and encourage them to ponder some of Jesus’ most profound teachings from Scripture; the Parables. 

Our presupposition is that even the youngest of our little ones have a prayer life; a connection and awareness of God in their lives.   God is present to them in their deepest being and they are capable of developing both a conscious and intimate relationship with God.   Our hope is to provide materials and lessons that nurture this relationship with God, deepen the prayer life that they already have and build on their understanding of God’s dream for our world by introducing (or pondering anew for our older kids) the Parables that Jesus told us.   

This year, to assist our working parents we are partnering with a couple local childcare centers to offer aftercare for our kids.  PLEASE INVITE YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS!  Our summer program is not restricted in any way to just Catholics and/or CTR folks.  Quite the opposite!  It’s a fantastic way to invite new families to our parish!

For a great article on passing on the faith to our kids visit:  http://www.uscatholic.org/articles/201301/show-me-way-how-can-parents-pass-faith-26739.  Send your "Crazy Catholic Questions" to dre@ctredeemer.org or read past columns at:  http://crazycatholicquestions.blogspot.com

-          Lisa Brown