The God I Don’t Believe In
(edited for space) – by Juan Arias
No, I shall never believe in:
The God who catches us by surprise in a sin of weakness, the God who condemns material things, the God incapable of giving an answer to the grave problems of a sincere and honest person who cries in tears: “I can’t!”
The God who loves pain, the God who sterilizes our reason, the God who is a magician and sorcerer, the God who makes himself feared, the God who does not allow us to talk familiarly to him, the grandfather-God whom one can twist around one’s little finger, the God who makes himself the monopoly of a church, a race, a culture or a caste, the lottery-god whom one can find only by chance, the judge-God who can give a verdict only with a rule book in his hands, the God incapable of smiling at many of our awkward mistakes, the God who “sends” people to hell, the God who always demands 100 percent in examinations.
The God who can be fully explained by a philosophy, the God adored by those who are capable of condemning a person to death, the God incapable of loving what many people despise, the God incapable of forgiving what many condemn, the God incapable of redeeming the wretched, the God incapable of understanding that children will always get themselves dirty and be forgetful, the God who prevents us from growing and conquering, transforming and overcoming.
The God who does not accept a seat at our human festivities, the God whom only the mature, the wise, or the comfortably situated can understand, the God who is not feared by the rich at whose doors lie the hungry and the wretched, the God capable of being accepted and understood by those who do not love, the God who is adored by those who go to mass and yet go on stealing and calumniating, the aseptic God thought up by so many theologians and canonists in their ivory towers, the God who isn’t able to find anything of his goodness, his essence, where love exists, the God who condemns all sex, the God who says “You will pay for that!”
The God who sometimes regrets giving us free will, the God who prefers injustice to disorder, the God who says and feels nothing about the agonizing problems of suffering humanity, the God who stifles earthly reform and gives only hope for the future life, the God who pleases those who are always saying, ”Everything is fine,” the God who is preached by those who believe that hell is crowded and heaven is almost empty, the God who regards war as good, the God who put law before conscience, the God who would form a static, immovable Church, incapable of being purified, perfected and developed.
The God of those who have stock answers for everything, the God who would deny us the freedom to sin, the God who has no forgiveness for some sins, the God who prefers the rich and the powerful, the God who “causes” cancer or “makes” a woman sterile, the God to whom one can pray only on one’s knees, whom one can find only in a church, the God who accepts and endorses everything we say about him, the God who does not save those who have not known him but who have desired and searched for him, the God who “carries off” to hell the child after his first sin, the God who does not go out to meet the person who had abandoned him, the God incapable of making all things new, the God who does not have a different, personal, individual word for each person, the God who has never wept for humankind, the God who prefers purity to love, the God who embraces politics, the God in whom there are no mysteries, who is no greater than we are, the God who is not love, the God incapable of captivating our hearts, the God in whom I cannot hope against all hope.
Yes, my God is the other God”.
The God who can be fully explained by a philosophy, the God adored by those who are capable of condemning a person to death, the God incapable of loving what many people despise, the God incapable of forgiving what many condemn, the God incapable of redeeming the wretched, the God incapable of understanding that children will always get themselves dirty and be forgetful, the God who prevents us from growing and conquering, transforming and overcoming.
The God who does not accept a seat at our human festivities, the God whom only the mature, the wise, or the comfortably situated can understand, the God who is not feared by the rich at whose doors lie the hungry and the wretched, the God capable of being accepted and understood by those who do not love, the God who is adored by those who go to mass and yet go on stealing and calumniating, the aseptic God thought up by so many theologians and canonists in their ivory towers, the God who isn’t able to find anything of his goodness, his essence, where love exists, the God who condemns all sex, the God who says “You will pay for that!”
The God who sometimes regrets giving us free will, the God who prefers injustice to disorder, the God who says and feels nothing about the agonizing problems of suffering humanity, the God who stifles earthly reform and gives only hope for the future life, the God who pleases those who are always saying, ”Everything is fine,” the God who is preached by those who believe that hell is crowded and heaven is almost empty, the God who regards war as good, the God who put law before conscience, the God who would form a static, immovable Church, incapable of being purified, perfected and developed.
The God of those who have stock answers for everything, the God who would deny us the freedom to sin, the God who has no forgiveness for some sins, the God who prefers the rich and the powerful, the God who “causes” cancer or “makes” a woman sterile, the God to whom one can pray only on one’s knees, whom one can find only in a church, the God who accepts and endorses everything we say about him, the God who does not save those who have not known him but who have desired and searched for him, the God who “carries off” to hell the child after his first sin, the God who does not go out to meet the person who had abandoned him, the God incapable of making all things new, the God who does not have a different, personal, individual word for each person, the God who has never wept for humankind, the God who prefers purity to love, the God who embraces politics, the God in whom there are no mysteries, who is no greater than we are, the God who is not love, the God incapable of captivating our hearts, the God in whom I cannot hope against all hope.
Yes, my God is the other God”.
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