I am paralyzed by regret and fear that God is disappointed and angry with me. I just can’t seem to believe in God’s love and forgiveness. How can I find healing?
Many years ago Brennan Manning, when he was still a priest back in the 70’s, shared a story about one day when he was at the airport getting ready to travel and he had his collar on and a man came up to him and begged him to hear his confession. He said the man looked gaunt, tired and so desperate that even though he was in serious “travel” mode, he couldn’t say “no” - so they found a quiet place to talk and this man shared what Brennan describes as a “very grave and serious sin” this man was carrying for many, many years.
He recounts that as he spoke the words of absolution and prayed over this man, he could actually see the man’s face change and lighten. He said that it was absolutely stunning the physical effect that the release of this sin had on the man; the words of forgiveness literally transformed him.
So, Brennan went on with his day, checked his baggage, got on the plane and he says as he was putting on his seat belt he heard the Lord speak in his heart and say “Will you do for yourself what you just did for your brother?” Can you take hold of the boundless mercy that I offer to you, always, without conditions or barriers?
Pope Francis is all over this, right? He says the very essence of God is Mercy. Period. End of discussion. He says the Mercy of God is the most beautiful truth of our faith. God’s love for us is so great, so deep; it is an unfailing love, one that always takes us by the hand and supports us, lifts us up, and leads us on. Fr. Greg Boyle says Jesus never modeled the “One-False-Move-God, but rather was always proclaiming the “no-matter-whatness of God.”
I long to believe in the image of God that Jesus paints for us. I want to believe in the utter foolishness of God’s mercy. That like the Good Shepherd, God would do the pastorally unthinkable, and completely outrageous thing and leave the 99 to find that one lost renegade sheep. I want to believe that I’m that precious and treasured by God; that each of us is that precious.
Today, together, we profess our belief in the power of God’s love to change and heal each of us, and for us to then change the world. No small dream.
Bishop Untener says Jesus didn't go from town to town saying, "Bring me your best and brightest." Rather, he sought out the ‘hot-messes’ among us. He taught us that God doesn’t shun or abandon us in our darkness until we clean up and get our act together. Rather he said God loves and accepts us as we are, not as we should be. God doesn’t love us despite our faults and failings, but rather works in and through them to bring about His kingdom. Jesus preached a God who knows that we're not perfect, that there's a dark side to our lives, that we've got some shameful memories, and that God wants to be with us in those parts of our lives where we don't feel so good about ourselves. Jesus came to say not simply "I love you," but to say, "I love you THERE, in the part of your life no one else sees.” May this love seep deep into our souls this sacred day…
No comments:
Post a Comment