Crazy Catholic Question #26: Bait & Switch

My kid keeps asking about why Jesus died on the cross.  I’m having difficulty explaining it.  What would you suggest? 

I’m a big Salvation Army shopper and on one trip I discovered one of those big aqua blue “Bible Story” books they used to have in doctor’s offices.  Some of my fellow “Gen-Xers” may remember them.  They had very colorful and intricate illustrations.  And so, for nostalgia, I bought one for my daughter Lauren who was about 4-years-old at the time. 

On the way home she was sitting happily in her car seat flipping through the pages and then all of a sudden I heard her take in a gasp of air and she said “Ooooh mama, this book is not for kids!”

And I immediately had a series of panicky flashes of all the terrible things that could be stuck in the pages of that book from the Salvation Army.  God knows who donated it!  So I pulled over and asked her to show me what she was looking at and she held up the book and pointed to a graphic illustration of the crucifixion.  I had handed a book to my toddler featuring pictures of a violent murder.   

Sometimes I think the striking image of the cross that made my 4-year-old gasp no longer hits us with its full force.  We have become desensitized and dulled to the violence of it all.  The crucifix has been tamed to the point of being a flimsy fashion statement.   Think about it.  Isn’t it rather startling and unnerving that the primary symbol of our faith is an instrument of torture?  Not unlike a modern day religion choosing the symbol of the electric chair or the gas chamber.   

So, how DO we explain Jesus’ suffering to our young children?   I’m not sure I have a full answer to this poignant question, but I can share a bit of what I tried with my older daughters (now ages 12 & 9) when they were younger and continue to try and do with my five-year-old.

My first attempt was always a blatant “Bait and Switch.”  Truth be told, Christianity with its deep and complex soteriology (which many theologically astute adults still struggle to grasp), is a solidly adult endeavor.   My daughter was right, in some ways Christianity is “not for kids.”   So, when they were very young, my first response to my children’s questions about the cross was to attempt to move their thoughts and questions to rather ponder and wonder about what Jesus meant when he described himself as the “Good Shepherd” or “The Light of the World.” 

In particular, the image of the Good Shepherd seemed especially satisfying to my kids.  This image that Jesus himself used to describe his mission and work is a rich and meaningful parable that in no way waters down of the truth at the very heart of who Jesus was and continues to be for us.  But it does avoid, for the moment at least, telling our littlest ones the sad turn that the story takes…about what happened to our true good and faithful shepherd on Calvary because he was courageous enough to love us, even to death. 

Not so slyly directing my kids to this parable was an unapologetic attempt to buy myself some time and some maturing in them before having to explain the significance of the Jesus’ brutal death.   Suffering finds all of us eventually and the cross helps us know we are not alone, but there is no harm in delaying or hurry to introduce some of the more complex aspects our faith to our kiddos. (Check out the “Mini-Lenten-Retreats” on the Good Shepherd parable we are offering for Families with elementary-age children!).