Crazy Catholic Question # 29: Self-sacrifice

Self-sacrifice? <insert head-scratch here>

I remember once quoting Sesame Street to my three-year old saying “It’s fun to share!” and her quite confidently replying “No it’s not Momma” and looking at me like, “What world are YOU living in?”

Self-sacrifice is not our natural state. The desire to be “on top” comes with the territory of being alive. St. Thomas Aquinas said that everything living wants to survive and expand in being. In plants and animals this drive stays on the biological level. But in humans it becomes more complex. Not only do we want to physically survive, we want to be important and esteemed, and sometimes we will hit some rather disgraceful lows in our pursuit of recognition and success in the world’s eyes. None of us are strangers to self-interest. But, it doesn’t satisfy in the end, as this anonymous little piece says:

How To Be Miserable
Think about yourself.
Talk about yourself.
Use "I" as often as possible.
Listen greedily to what people say about you.
Expect to be appreciated.
Be suspicious.
Be jealous and envious.
Be sensitive to slights.
Never forgive a criticism.
Trust nobody but yourself.
Insist on consideration and respect.
Demand agreement with your own views on everything.
Do as little as possible for others.

Sure we have our good days, but no matter how old and wise we get, we still have our bad days too when we succumb to our “bottom-of-the-barrel” selves….

I love the quote from Anne Lamott who said: “I’ve thought such evil, awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.”

And yet, at the same time, we immediately recognize goodness. We are moved by stories of great sacrifice and selflessness. When an individual makes a choice to give of themselves for the greater good, we hear in that story God calling us to something deeper and truer…. something is awakened in us….

For example, the story of the young boy who had the perfect blood-match to save his older sister from a fatal form of leukemia. So the doctors and his parents came to him and asked “Will you give your sister your blood?”

And the boy thought about it for a few minutes and then said “Yes, I will…for my sister.” So when the day came they put the needle in the child’s arm and started the transfusion, and as he watched his blood go out of him and into his sister he asked the doctor “So, when do I die?”

Self-preservation may be our default setting, but something wonderful in us recognizes the beauty in stories such as this in which people set aside their drive for self-interest to carry out amazing acts of love.

This is the humanity that we witness in Jesus this Palm Sunday. Jesus is always calling us to this higher self…our best self. Jesus is God’s way of communicating to us what being human can look like…is designed to look like. St. Thomas Aquinas says “the mission of Jesus from the Father is NOT the mission to be crucified; what the Father wished is that Jesus should be human.” Jesus’ life was so tragic because of what being a loving, compassionate human person in our world sometimes costs.

All our little sacrifices, our little deaths to our self-centered selves are not a loss but a key part of our growth and transition into abundant life: our own death and resurrection. Henri Nouwen said “Our humanity comes to its fullest bloom in giving. We become beautiful people when we give whatever we can give: a smile, a handshake, a kiss, an embrace, a word of love, a present, a part of our life...all of our life.”

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